The secret of happiness
A lot of really flaky stuff has been written on happiness – smile more often, that kind of thing. But a lot of really good, well researched stuff has been written too, especially by Martin Seligman, Richard Layard, Jonathan Haidt and Tal Ben-Shahar. Their work provides a pretty consistent picture of what makes human beings happy. To be happy, or to experience well being, you need to take action on three distinct levels.
Level one is pleasure. A pleasurable activity is something that produces positive sensations while we are engaging in that activity. Listening to a favourite piece of music, eating a particularly tasty meal, cycling through a wonderful piece of scenery on a beautiful summer's day, enjoying a back massage or watching a favourite film are all examples of activities which give pleasure. The sensation known as flow, when you are so pleasurably engaged in an activity that you loose all track of time, is also a kind of pleasure.
Regular doses of pleasure are part of happiness, but by no means the whole story. If you overindulge in a pleasurable activity, the pleasure stops: Watching your favourite film is a pleasure, but watching films continuously would soon become boring, at least for most people. The pleasure also stops when you stop the pleasurable activity – in some cases it may even turn to remorse.
Level two relates to your circumstances – the way in which you live. Most circumstantial factors don't make as much difference as you might think, because we tend to get used to them. For example, earning a lot of money, living in a big house or driving a fancy car generally doesn't make people happy. However, there are a few things which can permanently increase or decrease our levels of happiness. Having positive relationships with family and friends makes people significantly, and permanently happier. Having religious beliefs makes people happier. Having control over our lives makes us significantly happier, and not having control makes us significantly unhappier. Although we can get used to a lot of negative things, it seems we never habituate to unpleasant noise or an unpleasant commute to work. These are things which permanently affect our happiness.
It's worth saying at this stage that most people have a basic set level for their happiness. In other words, some people are temperamentally pretty cheerful, while others are predisposed to be a bit glum. Apart from choosing the right circumstances there are three things you can do to change your set level. One is to take drugs, though this is not recommended as the side effects can be problematic. Two is meditation. Three is to use some kind of cognitive behavioural therapy.
The third level is often referred to as fulfilment. Two things appear to be effective at creating a sense of fulfilment. The first is setting and achieving significant and worthwhile goals, and the second is acting virtuously. According to the research, people who are generous, patient, kind, courageous and so on are happier than people who are not.
So if you want to be happy, here's what you do: Be virtuous, and get working on some worthwhile goals. Enhance your relationships and commute less. Meditate or get into cognitive behavioural therapy to change your set level. Add some appropriate doses of pleasure.
If that's all there is to it, how come so many people appear not to be very happy? The short answer is that as human beings we're not programmed to be happy, we're programmed to want more. And neither wanting more nor achieving more will actually make us happy.
Recommended reading
Authentic happiness by Martin Seligman
Happiness by Richard Layard
The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt
Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar
For more on why we're programmed not to be happy
Mean Genes by Terry Burnham and Jay Phelan